Jokes

Man comes home, finds his wife with his friend in bed.
He shoots his friend and kills him.
Wife says :
"If you behave like this, you will lose ALL your friends".

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A small Boy wrote to Santa Claus, " send me a brother"

Santa wrote back, " SEND ME YOUR MOTHER"

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What is the definition of Mistress?
Someone between the Mister and Mattress

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Husband asks:

"Do u know that the meaning of WIFE
is:

Without
I nformation
F ighting
Every-time

Wife replies:

" No,...... It means:

W ith
Idiot
F or
E ver !!!"

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What's the difference between stress, tension and panic?
Stress is when wife is pregnant,... Tension is when girlfriend is pregnant.

Panic is when both are pregnant.

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Grammer Teacher: Do you know the importance of a period?

Kid: Yeah, once my sister said she has missed one, my mom fainted, dad got a heart attack & our driver run away!

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A young boy asks his Dad :"What is the difference between confident and confidential?

Dad says: "You are my son, I'm confident about that. Your friend over there, is also my son, that IS confidential.